Mommy, Can I Have the BP Oil Spill for Xmas?
as I stated on the single mom post,
my li’l man is gone
how can I have a son when no mortal hath touched me, neither have I been unchaste?
I own BP but do not know why
I’m a cold-hearted bastard Republican and worried about Xmas
can I have a cuddle?
can i have a li’l tar ball?
can I have myself declared to be a bank?
I’m gonna google my own name
’cause it’ll make me feel “not ghetto enough”
Mom goes blind so her daughters can see Alyssa Milano
the odd thing is, Mom already gets sick from eating California strawberries
we even have a Xmas tree decorated with whatever
and it’s VERY VERY POPULAR
if you don’t have something nice to say about someone,
shank Mom to obtain a cheeseburger
let’s pretend the BP oil spill “absolutely” had sex with Delonte West
and let Gaywheels do the tough work
like sexists drool insanely
over a fire-belching ’70s board game
containing an eerie metal girl
who’s freed her mind
this BP oil spill looks like it may last longer
than Air Supply and The Carpenters
seems pretty, but hey,
is Dick Cheney responsible?
where did the origin of the phrase
“chicks dig Asian carp” come from?
chicks dig criminal negligence
do you think they should arrest someone?
plus, chicks dig the iPhone
but guys like me dig Anne Murray lyrics
and Maytag dishwasher recalls
Whachoo Talkin’ ’bout, Jesus? T-Shirts
Tonsil Hockey Champ T-shirts
wanna make $100?
kill a drummer
tele-skiing doesn’t suck
as bad as you might think
should we enjoy drill for oil in our country?
glad you asked
K. Silem Mohammad is the author of The Front (Roof Books, 2009).